And you asked me, what is my biggest fear? That things would always remain so unclear. That one day I will wake up all alone with a big family and emptiness deep in my bone. That I would be so blinded, turn a deaf ear, and my fake laugh would suddenly sound sincere.

I was laying on the couch in the livingroom of Ida and Rasmus new apartment. The room was of beautiful wooden floor and with a huge window with great view since the apartment is on the fifth floor. The curtains were not meant to cover the whole window and when I was laying there, watching the stars an airplane flies by. It crossed the night sky with it's green and red lights blinking. I couldn't help but wondering, is it on it's way to land or going away?
It has been exactly seven days since that night on the couch. I now am in my new bed, in my new apartment with my new roomies in a new part of town. The only thing is that I can't really decide what I think about being back in Oslo, capital of Norway. I have only lived in this apartment for a week but this living arrangement gives me really good feelings. What sucks is, that the job doesn't.
I was sitting in the lunch room at work, which looked exactly the same as it did my very first day there the 4th of January 2010. I was back at the same employee but with a different contract. The only thing was that it didn't notice, Since nothing ever finishes on time, neither had the bakery I am supposed to be a leader of. This means I was back at Deiglig with almost the exact same people, same tasks and same costumers. I don't know if I should laugh or cry about the fact that it had been 17 months since I was there, but it felt as if I was never truly gone.
Yesterday I followed my new roomies out on the town with their friends. After an evening and night with some rum and coke and a beer or two I stumbled into the kitchen of the apartment clatching my McDonalds bag at three o clock. The burger was amazing, but the phone call from the other side of the world was even better. Today me and My spent the entire day on the couch with the awesome tv of this apartment. We managed to watch four movies, some American Funniest Home Videos episodes and Simpsons. The most exciting thing today happening, which also was the most annoying, was when the fire alarm went of and I seriously thought my head would explode.

Life goes on in Oslo. During this first week I was also out training on our buildings inner yard, jumping up and down and running around doing push ups, situps and more. During one of the 10 seconds break I turned my head up to the sky for catching air. When I do so my eyes fall on an airplane crossing the december sky. The green and red lights once again blinking down at me made me wonder, will I be staying here, or am I already leaving?

Postat av: hannah

det viktigaste är att man känner att man gör något som gör en glad. sen behöver man inte tjäna en massa pengar, eller ens göra något vettigt. för pengar är ett flyktigt medium, men att vara glad i själen är ovärderligt om det än bara är för ett par veckor. hoppas det känns bättre snart, eller att du kommer på något annat att göra. vad du än bestämmer dig för så vet du vart jag finns :)

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