Sarah

 

 

When life has turned on its autopilot and you just do things without thinking. You do things because you should. You do things out of habit. You do things you never thought you would do, just because it is what is expected from you. You dont do things you want. Simply because you dont know what you want.

Lately I have been feeling a lot of helplessness because I have realized I just dont know what I want to do with my life right now. It is all feeling pretty grey. I dont feel like working, I dont feel like travelling, I dont feel like training, I dont feel like studying. But I dont mind any of them at the same time. It is hard to put words on these emotions. The emotion when simply nothing is right, but not wrong either. 

I know all I have to do is to give it some time. Allow things to feel grey and let time pass. Hopefully in not too long time, I will know. I might stumble upon it, as sudden like a lightening from a blue sky or it will grow. I have spent a lot of time worrying, but I dont do that any longer. Instead I spend my time with getting in to routines. After all, 2013 wasn't really a year with firm routines and procedures. Maybe this is what I need. Until I know I will work, train and listen to music.